In our graphic design business, we have owned and operated for twenty five years, there were jobs that became very stressful. The last two years were particularly trying. The details became overwhelming and the complexity created cognitive fatigue. I could no longer take the stress and organize my thoughts. I would breakdown in tears or get angry because I could not communicate my ideas or thoughts to my partner.
It became obvious to me that it was time to retire but this created another problem. I went to art school became an art director in advertising agencies and then opened my own business and that is who I was for forty years. My identity stopped. I became depressed and lost. I needed to focus so I finished my basement, laminate floors and hung ceilings and then worked on my cabin and bought an old motorhome that had to be refurbished and...well you get the picture. This all helped distract me but there was still an underlying problem.
I had to decide what I was, who I was. I have always been an artist and produced illustrations and paintings that have sold in galleries and directly to clients. I have worked in acrylics, oils, and pastels. I needed to change things up and dove brush first into full time painting. Changing my medium to watercolours gave me new life and new inspiration. It has changed my life. I am not trying to paint for a gallery or a client. I am painting what I want and creating what makes me happy. I found who I am and who I should be. Our daughter introduced my wife Lea and I to meditation. I am in no way a spiritual thinker but the technique of relaxing your mind and being in the moment is amazing. The past and the future exist only in your mind. Let it go. Thanks Lisa. Namaste. Who knew that retiring would create a feeling of loss and depression but the experience helped when it was time for my wife to retire. I understood what was happening to her and we worked through it together and are still working through the problem of self worth. I am a lucky man to have the family I do and the life I live.
"I could no longer take the stress and organize my thoughts."